Goal - Sometimes a 4 letter curse word
- itcametopass
- Oct 8, 2018
- 3 min read
In my young adult life I have often avoided goals because they have made me feel more guilty than I did before starting them. In the back of my mind and places in my heart I have wanted to improve but I've doubted my ability to change behavior, habits, attitude, or addictions. In the past I set goals because I felt like I needed to and there were times I wanted to, but I never really felt like I had the power to accomplish them, and many times, almost always, I quit. Failure frequently fueled a self-deprecating cycle.
HOWEVER, over the past couple years I've been on a journey to break this cycle. Some months have gone better than others, but reflecting today I see each month has progressively increased my mental/emotional/spiritual capacity to accept that I might not achieve all my goals perfectly, but that's not a good enough excuse to just give up. Self-improvement is continual. What works for me may not work for someone else and vice versa.
From my recent experiences I am a witness that change is possible: change in attitude, change in habits, change in how we treat and view ourselves, change in whatever area we need it. If you've set goals keep working towards them! You may find you need to adjust certain goals as you go-- that is perfectly acceptable and is not a negative reflection of you. I've found sometimes I don't know a realistic expectation until I set a goal and go for it and see whether it's enough to stretch and push me or obliterate and crush me.
I believe now that my fear of setting and working towards goals has been a big hindrance to my well-being and I don't think that is a coincidence. If I believe I can't improve-- I won't-- and it will be difficult to reach my full potential. I testify that there are people and influences who want us to remain unchanged, stuck in a static wasteland, BUT there are those who will cheer and champion our success. What is the point of my existence if I am not learning, improving, and becoming a better version of myself? Part of all of that is not doing things perfectly the first, second, or maybe even third time.
I used to obsess (and I admit sometimes still do) over the scripture, "be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father... in heaven is perfect." I have spent most of my life trying to be perfect, then beating myself up because I wasn't, Elder Holland called it "toxic perfectionism."The New Testament meaning of the word "perfection" is to be finished and complete. That leaves much room for error, evaluation, and engaging in the wrestle. Because guess what? As Moroni said it, "Come unto Christ and be perfected in Him." I don't, and you don't, have to figure out how to be finished and complete on your own, because the Savior is the source of perfection. As long as we are trying to put our faith in Him, our goals will eventually complete and perfect us. Goals don't have to be a four letter source of cursing, they can be a five letter blessing.
-Amy
(Embellished from a Facebook post I did some time ago)
This blog post was quite helpful in my reflection of goal setting.
Comments