The Trials of Today Can Be the Blessings of Tomorrow
- itcametopass
- Oct 24, 2018
- 4 min read
Growing up as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in an active family, I knew I wanted to serve a full-time mission when I was old enough. As I got older and the age change happened, making it possible for members to go as early as 18 for the guys, and 19 for the girls, the pressure to go increased. By the time I was a senior in high school, I began to feel like everyone was expecting me to serve and it no longer felt like my own personal decision. The summer after I graduated, I had told everyone that I was no longer wanting to serve a mission and that I would just go to college and work on my Masters degree and use my track scholarship for the next few years instead. My friends and my family accepted my choice and let me do my thing. God, however, had a different idea in mind.
Midterms were approaching in my first semester of college, and I was attending church at a YSA (young single adult) ward in Ogden. One sacrament meeting, I was listening to a young man talking about either the mission he just served, or the mission he was going on— I honestly can’t remember. What I do remember, are the words I heard in my head from my Heavenly Father stating, “You haven’t even asked me.” That night I got on my knees and prayed to know if God wanted me to go on a mission. After a whole week of asking Him, I wasn’t getting an answer and I was starting to get really frustrated. Then I realized it might be something to do with the fact that I was inserting “Please say no, please say no!” in my thoughts when I was asking. So I humbled myself, and told God that I would go if that’s what He wanted from me. The next afternoon, I received my answer VIA SISTER MISSIONARY at an institute lunch. Needless to say, the Holy Ghost hit me like a train and I knew I needed to serve.
So I got my life together, sent my application, and waited anxiously for my call for a few weeks.During a ward activity one day, I got called into a meeting with the Stake President and my Bishop who told me that my application had been sent back because of my history of mental illness. I was asked to complete therapy for 2 months to make sure I was good to go.
2 months later: I finished and with therapist approval, submitted my mission papers again, and waited a few weeks for my call only to discover that they were sent back AGAIN. The First Presidency wanted me to wait ANOTHER 2 months. I was so frustrated and confused at this point. Did God really want me to go on a mission? Did I imagine my own answer? Why is this happening to me??
Another 2 months later: By now I had moved back home for the summer, and found out that because I moved, I needed to meet with my home ward Bishop. Not only that, but I was also asked to do another round of therapy to double check. This process was getting truly exhausting. By July I was able to send in my mission papers for the 3rd time, knowing this would be my last attempt before surrendering the idea altogether. So 4 weeks passed by and I thought for sure I was going to be rejected once and for all. But then I got my call to serve (nearly 8 months after I had submitted my application the first time) and I left for the Missionary Training Center that next month.
In the moment, I couldn’t understand for the life of me why Heavenly Father made me wait so long.Why did He make me go through all of those hours of therapy when I was SURE I didn’t need it? The answer came to me on my mission. God was preparing me to be able to cope and manage with mental, emotional, and physical struggles and adversities, and help others do the same. I know God needed me to serve when I did and where I did at the perfect times to fulfill His purposes. Children don't fully appreciate or understand the things their parents do for them until they are grown and have that hindsight to see the importance of those conversations, punishments, or sacrifices experienced especially if those things seemed ridiculous in the moment. We need to have faith that God knows what He’s doing and that we will be allowed to understand the “why” later. Our Heavenly Father knows us better than we know ourselves, and will lovingly direct us to the path that will make us the happiest in the long run. When we listen to and put our trust in Him and surrender our pride and our selfish desires, we will receive far greater blessings and joy than we would by doing our own thing.
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